IC Contact

[sugarbear]

This is John Casey. Make it snappy.

Comments

audio;

[sugarbear]

Yes. [ Delay delay delay. ] Why do you ask?

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

I met one after the jump.

audio;

[sugarbear]

Please tell me you didn't say anything stupid.

[ Because he did. ]

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

I asked him to join the flight crew.

[ Pause. ]

Why, what did you do?

audio; 1/?

[sugarbear]

You did what?!

audio; 2/?

[sugarbear]

[ There are long pauses of Casey pacing and slamming things between these replies. ]

Are you insane? Do you have any idea...

audio; 3/5

[sugarbear]

I can't work with a Jedi Knight? Did you see what those idiots did to Star Trek the other day?

Did you see that? Do you have any idea how much of a mess this is going to be?

audio; 4/5

[sugarbear]

What if I break him? I'm going to break him.

You can't have a Jedi in the shuttle bay.

audio;

[sugarbear]

[ Pause. ]

Who, me? I didn't do anything.

audio; i'm laughing so hard someone send help also 1/3

[suddenlycaptain]

He said he was a Jedi Padawan.

[ whatever that is ]

audio; i lied 2/4

[suddenlycaptain]

Who did what to Star Trek?

audio; 3/4

[suddenlycaptain]

You're not going to break him.

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

Casey. What did you do?

audio;

[sugarbear]

A Padawan is like an apprentice. A baby Jedi. You know that rat-tail thing? It gets cut off when he becomes a Jedi Knight.

And those idiot lawyers broke Star Trek. They told them they were fictional and dead. Like Obi-Wan Kenobi is fictional and dead. And I could break him, too. All he did in the Jump bay was say 'I've got a bad feeling about this' and I almost lost my cool completely.

So you see I didn't do anything.

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

Jones tried to eat it.

[ Cats. ]

Obi-Wan is fictional and dead?

[ NOW YOU'RE BREAKING HER, CASEY, AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN FOURTH-WALLED HER. ]

You're so confusing.

audio;

[sugarbear]

Well props to Jones then, for having taste. We're just going to have to organise an accident to get rid of it. Dangerous, dangly bits, get stuck in machinery.

[ Casey what are you even. ]

Obi-Wan is from Star Wars, like Kirk is from Star Trek. You think this is confusing, and I haven't even told you the plot.

Suffice is to say that apart from Han Solo, he was the most iconic character ever to grace the silver screen. Darth Vader comes in third.

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

We could always try and get Riddick to cut it off.

[ Or. Yeah. They could not do that, too. ]

Kirk is fictional too?

[ SHE IS SO CONFUSED CASEY WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT ]

audio;

[sugarbear]

Of course Kirk is fictional. You can't possibly think that real people could be that much of a jumped up, self righteous, pompous ass?

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

I've met worse.

audio;

[sugarbear]

From 'a race of peaceful explorers'? Please. If humans do populate the galaxy, it's going to be dirty, bloodthirsty warmongering, full of space pirates and creepy ass aliens who either want to fuck you or eat you.

I don't believe in this prissy, peaceful, perfect version of one space for one second. That was always my biggest problem with Star Trek.

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

My universe is a lot harder than most others that the people here are from. I've already learned that. But that doesn't stop people from being self righteous where I'm from, either.

audio;

[sugarbear]

Maybe. But it doesn't make Kirk or Obi-Wan Kenobi any less fictional. You don't believe me, ask him about the Force.

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

The what?

audio;

[sugarbear]

The Force. It's like a universal life force that binds all things together. The Jedi can access that Force, use it; it's what gives them their power.

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

What sort of power?